its sickening how we fight everynight about shallow things, its a hard pill to swallow. one night as i walked out of our endless fights i sat on the edge of my bed crying. i hated everything that was happening.. why does everyone talk about love as a beautiful experience, but with us its always one thing after another, and in the lapses between, its even more depressing. because atleast when were fighting its something. In between its just all alot of nothing.. same old same old, and it really makes me wonder. Shouldnt it feel a little more like love? Then there cam a soft little noise i recognized. i was fleeting, inexplicable flight. i collected myself and said "i love you". and silently wishing he would hear me and say "i know". So thats that..what about all the nothingness, what about all the yelling and cursing, what about the endless fights? I shrugged to myself. My friend blurted "So you forgave him"
"of course i forgave him"
"how come?"
"i suppose i love him" and that was that. i was back on track..

and realized once again.. the incomprehensible, unconditiona,l exhausting devotion to the love of my life.